Sunday, September 25, 2011


I needed some extra motivation this weekend. I find myself struggling to follow my eating plan.  I run out of energy, work too long, don't prepare in advance..blah blah blah....all excuses.  My life is no busier or more full now than when I would work 70 hours per week at IBM while attending grad school and still competing and teaching.  However, I was still able to fit it all in.  Now that I am older, I realize that entire period was really unhealthy for my body. I was trying to do too much..pushing myself to the limits time and time again.  But I wasn't having this mental hurdle that I seem to be facing right now. 

Anyway, I decided to go back and look at my training journals from the time in my life when I felt that I was in the best shape.  Not so surprisingly, my struggles are the same.  I struggled with early morning cardio..struggled with making sure that I prepared my meals in advance and ate them..struggled with giving in to cravings.  However, I found myself smiling because I could remember every emotion and my mindset when I wrote in my journals then (the curse of having an amazing ability to remember events in my life).  And, I realize that if I could do it then, then I can do it now.  There will be ups and downs...highs and altering events..but, at the end of the day, it all boils down to what I can control in my day and what I cannot.  I find myself falling into my workaholic trap.  At least I recognize it now, and am trying to be proactive about not letting work or my love of learning new things get in the way of balance.  Right now, I am all about living a balanced, peaceful, low-stress life. My motto is that anything (or anyone) who causes me adverse stress gets cut questions asked.  Life is a gift, and I have a responsiblity to take good care of my body - inside and outside.  I feel happy, even though I struggle with my fitness goals.  I just try to do the best that I can with the time that I have.  However, I also try to note the areas where I'm not giving it my best effort and improve.

I had my bloodwork done, and my thyroid is finally back in balance.  My fasting glucose is still slightly elevated, which is the reason why weight loss is so challenging for me right now.  However, I can overcome that by training and eating clean CONSISTENTLY.  Right now, being consistent is my obstacle.  I'll do a good job for a week or two, then I will fall off for a few days..It's been a cycle.  One that can be overcome by better planning and setting better limits for myself.  I took some time yesterday really thinking about what motivates me.  I came to the realization that while having a kick a$$ home gym is amazing, I thrive when I am around other people. I need to go to a public setting, be in a gym, take some group exercise classes. I draw energy from others, especially those working hard to meet goals such as myself.  When I drag my butt out of bed in the morning to do my morning cardio, I am still half asleep and not working as diligently as I should.  I have tried a few gyms locally, but haven't quite found "the one" yet.  I enjoy LifeTime Fitness, but moreso for the amenities.  I never felt like I really got a good, focused workout there.  I've tried a gym similar to Anytime Fitness, but the atmosphere wasn't calling me.  I LOVE training at Metroflex Gym, but it's so far from my house that I only go there to lift. There is a new gym opening here that I toured and loved. It had the energy, tools, equipment, and the "it" factor that I'm looking for. It's kind of pricey, but I plan to give it a go through the end of the year.  My doctor said that there is no reason why I shouldn't be losing 2 pounds per week on my eating plan, even despite having elevated blood sugar levels.  So, as long as I am CONSISTENT with everything the results should manifest.

Anyway, that's my pep talk (to myself) for the day.  I'm not giving up. I will not get discouraged. I will transform. I will be honest with myself and admit my own shortcomings.

I am not afraid to be great.

Now let's go get a *bleep* *bleep* snack! (ode to Rex Ryan)

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